“Mawwiage is what bwings us together today!” - Princess Bride

My one-year anniversary is knocking at the door.  A whole year.  Simply amazing.  Amazing, not because we made it that long, no the husband-man is never getting away, but amazing because of the journey one year has been.  You see, I like marriage.  It fits me well. You discover a whole new world of awesome when you utter the words “I do” and I am sure that there are many more surprises to come as those who have been married much longer can attest to.  But with my anniversary around the corner and today being Valentine’s Day, I thought I would share the reasons on why I love marriage. 

1.     Someone to keep your feet warm.  Yes, marriage is about the cheesy, love stuff, but with a husband also comes a built in furnace.  Feet cold?  Stomach and under the legs are great places to find relief from the chill. 

2.     A WWE match can break out anytime in the living room.  My husband and I wrestle.  Not the sweet tickle fights, not the adorable bear hug, we have cage matches that typically end in bruises and exhaustion.  It sounds awful, but, in reality, it’s awesome.  Especially since I usually win. 

3.     Someone to tell your bad dreams to.  I hate waking up and not knowing if a dream is real, especially when it involves me and lizards.  Words can’t even describe the horror.  Happily, my husband never complains when I wake him up to recount my harrowing tales. 

4.     A human guinea pig.  I like that there is someone willing try to the various taste sensations that I create in the kitchen.

5.     Someone to make you soup when your sick.  Admittedly, Husband doesn’t really MAKE soup (makes killer eggs though), but he is a champ at opening a can, and when I am sick, a girl couldn’t ask for much better. 

6.     Someone who always thinks your pretty.  My wonderful husband never fails to tell me how beautiful and special I am.  However, keep in mind, my husband does have terrible eyesight and without contacts/glasses he is essentially blind, so maybe he is just seeing me through foggy lenses. 

7.     You double the size of your wardrobe.  Oh, the husband-man will not be happy when he reads this.  I am notorious for stealing his clothes, which are just oversized enough on me to provide maximum comfort.  It drives him crazy.  That’s why I do it. 

These are, of course, the silly reasons I love marriage and my husband, but seriously, I really do love it, and hopefully my husband does too.  Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Our Valentine's Day dinner, with my beautiful flowers from the husband-man.  

Our heart shaped pizzas.

Complete with pink cupcakes for dessert! 

When Lisa Frank And “Family Matters” Were Hip

The lucky ones get old, because the alternative is dying young.  Except, in our culture, old is not revered, it is really frowned upon.  However, I am really not thinking about the merits of the elderly, rather today I was thinking about all the ways I am getting older.  Granted, I am not old yet (that’s reserved for those 55+, here’s looking to you AARP member), but I am not exactly young either.  I was mistaken for early thirties the other day, and ouch.  That hurts.

So, here are the nine ways (yes, nine is a random number) I am getting older, or maybe just less young:

1.    Gray Hairs: Dying my hair is no longer for fun.  It’s a necessity.

2.    Early to bed, early to rise:  Staying up late means past 11 p.m.  And getting up early means before 6:30 a.m.  It used to be staying up until 3 a.m. and getting up at noon. 

3.    Forgetting the little things that used to make you smile:  For example, stickers.  There was a time in my life when Lisa Frank was the final say in all things cool.  It took a group of high school girls putting a sticker on my face to remind me that stickers increase awesome.  

4.    Nick at Nite mocks me: I remember when Nick at Nite was reserved for shows like “I Love Lucy” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”  Now it plays “Family Matters,” “Home Improvement,” and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks! I watched those episodes when they first came on the air!

5.    Once your parents, now your…friends?: It’s weird that as I have gotten older how my parents have morphed from evil dictators, into somehow being my friends.  Granted, parents will always have their annoying tendencies, but subjects that were once taboo with parents, like sex, are now just a part of a funny, dirty joke, not a gut wrenching lecture on what makes boys and girls different. 

6.    Happy hour is now a nap: I miss happy hour, but not nearly as much as I miss naptime.   

7.    Holidays gain new meanings: NYE used to be a party and Halloween used to be an excuse to wear whatever I wanted.  Now, I can’t make it to midnight and if I see you out at Halloween wearing only nipple covers and thigh high stockings and try to pass it as a “nurses outfit” or “Snow White” I might think you’re a hussy. 

8.    You have deleted all your “fun” pictures from Facebook: I am not sure if me deleting certain photos from Facebook has more to do with me becoming more conservative in my old age, or more “real adults” getting Facebook accounts and becoming massively uncomfortable with the idea that my in-laws could see a play by play of what I did in college. 

9.    I don’t tweet or twitter or whatever you kids call it these days: I’ve given up with being ahead of the trends.

I don’t have a number 10.  How do you notice your getting older?  That way I can steal your ideas and call it my number 10 J

And God Said “Let There Be Light!”

And there was light...

My husband and I closed on our home on Dec. 30^th.  Since that time we have slowly been working to make the house our home.  One thing that had to go was this chandelier.  I am pretty sure this thing is circa 1998.  See…..

So that’s when I saw a chandelier that I loved!  See it here. Only problem is that it cost $395 plus $28 in shipping (that’s $423 for all you non-math whizzes out there).  And I said, um…no.  But luckily I found DIY instructions and voilà!, I had a chandelier.

The lights off view...

 The lights on view....

The close up...

It cost me about $90 dollars to make.  I call that a successful day.  [Pat on the back].  

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other Thing

If you can’t remember the classic Sesame Street Song, please see this video. 

Last night my husband and I were laying in bed.  He has embarked upon a year long journey to read the Bible chronologically, so needless to say, most of his reading time is consumed by the Bible, as it was last night.  However, I was not in a reading mood, so I flipped on the television and found Dane Cook on comedy central.  Needless to say, it was hilarious, but definitely vulgar.  And as I lay there watching raunchy comedy and my husband lay next to me reading the Bible, I couldn’t help but sing in my head: 

“One of these things is not like the other thing.”

I have another life situation where this song fits in perfectly.  First of all, to most of the people who have known me for any length of time, you are well aware that for many years I traveled the spectrum of beliefs ranging form agnostic to atheist.  And for those of you who didn’t know, welcome to the club, now you do.

My husband was the one who actually lead me to God, a gift that I will surely never be able to repay, but even after God and I had been introduced, I was afraid to let everyone else know that God was my new main man.  Were people going to think I was hypocritical?  That I was crazy?  I had spent years being both angry and indifferent to religion, so I did what any person in my position would do, I began to lead a double life. 

Life #1:  I would go to church.  I found a group of amazing people to relate to and help me learn about God.  I read my bible.  I kept a prayer journal.  I believed in God.

Life #2:  God who?

I was so caught up in what this world was going to do to me if I revealed my ultimate secret: I believe in God. 

The mere fact that I am writing this post must have tipped you off by this point that I had a change of heart.  It wasn’t anything spectacular, just something I read one night: 

“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”  Matt 10:37 – 38

And that’s when I started to sing:

“One of these things is not like the other thing.”

I had been living two contrasting lives.  Very different and very wrong.  What had God done that I should be ashamed of Him and deny knowing Him?  Nothing.  What had I done to shame God? LOTS! But He still calls me His daughter.

Headdesk

Let me tell you a story:

The Pharisees are angry.  Jesus is preaching about the Jewish regulations on food and drink.  He is saying that it is not what you eat that makes you unclean, rather what comes out of your mouth (Matt 15:10-11).  Then he provides his disciples with a parable:

“Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.  Leave them: they are blind guides.  If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into the pit” (Matt 15:13 – 14)

This is a fairly popular parable, but it is what happens next that struck me.  Peter needs additional clarification.  He asks Jesus to explain and Jesus responds:

“Are you still so dull?” 

Yes, Jesus asks Peter, “Are you still so dull?”  I think that Jesus’ response may be equivalent to the modern day *Headdesk* 

Headdesk

-       verb.  When one’s head connects with a desk expressing frustration or disbelief. 

Perhaps Jesus was a little frustrated that Peter, who had already traveled throughout Israel with him listening to his parables, still needed an explanation.  Sometimes I think Jesus has the same feelings towards my life.  I spent years denying Jesus.  Denying his role as the Son of Man, denying that there even existed a God.  Denying.  And then, even when I started to believe, I fought to keep my will.  I said, “Sure, I will believe in God, but I am still going to do whatever I want!” 

And that’s when Jesus performed the most epic of headdesks.  I can just imagine Jesus, in all his glory, shaking his head and thinking, “Meagan, you know the answer.  You know the way.  Why do you keep fighting it? *Headdesk*”

I’d like to think my life is so different now.  Now that I believe in God.  Now that I believe I have turned my will over to Him, but maybe I am just lying to myself.  I have prayed for answers, and when I didn’t get the answer that I wanted, I would say,

“Lord, I can do this myself.”

And my perfect Father would shake his head and respond,

“Are you still so dull?” 

Where Is My Worth?

Lately, God has been pushing me to examine my self-worth.  He has brought it to my attention in so many different ways, that I can no longer just be stubborn and ignore Him.  I have been like a petulant child with my fingers in my ears, singing the most obnoxious song at the top of my lungs, hoping that His prompting would stop.  Unfortunately, I have learned that God is much louder than I can ever hope to be.

For months I have struggled with the fact that I am unemployed.  I have avoided bringing it up in conversations, I have tried to cut off ties with my successfully employed friends. I was embarrassed, sure that someone was judging me as an epic fail of a person.  Fear began to rise in my chest as I convinced myself that my husband was starting to resent me, and that he somehow held more power in our marriage because he brought home a paycheck.  As my stupid human mind began to spin out of control I asked myself: What is my worth if I have no job?  If there is no one to evaluate my performance?  If I don’t bring home a paycheck?  Am I a lesser partner in marriage?

This is the point when my beautifully wise husband said to me, “Meagan, do not get so caught up in this world.”  And the truth of it rang in my ears.  I can’t take a job title or cars or clothes or a house to stand before my Father.  My worth to God is not found in a hairstyle or designer jeans.  My worth is found in the blood of Christ, who would rather die than to live without me.  I am so valuable, so worthy, so loved in the eyes of a perfect God that He would send his only son to die for me.  That is more worth and value than I can ever hope to receive from a job. 

And so I ask, if you were to be stripped of your job title, would you find yourself worthless?  If you lost your home? If you could only wear clothes from Good Will?  If you got a divorce? Would you still have self-worth?  I hope so, because while I know the truth, I continue to struggle.  Everyday I must be reminded that my worth is not dependent on this world.

I have worth simply because I am me and God loves me.  

Just Google It!

Everybody has problems, questions, issues.  We wake up each morning to a new set of challenges, and everyday we are expected to face the gauntlet of life.  There are the little problems, like what am I going to eat when I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a week, and there are the more significant issues, like I have to give a presentation at work today, or I have to make some hard financial decisions.  So how do you go about tackling these situations?  Where do you turn for answers?

Now, I have come to realize that there are generally two answers to any situation.  The first answer to a problem or question is “Google it.” For example,

What is the opposite of war? Google it.

Can blind people see their dreams? Google it.

How do I control-alt-delete on a Mac?  I can never remember!! Just Google it. 

Can I meet Justin Bieber?  [Facepalm!] Why would you want to? But, maybe.  Google it. 

Are vampires real? No, but millions of pre-teen girls wish they were.  Don’t believe me, Google it.

Is black a color? Black is the absence of color, so no, not a color.   But how did I know that, Google it!

Why do we believe someone when they say there are billions of stars in the sky, but if they tell you there is wet paint we have to touch it? I don’t know! Google it! 

Google has a wealth of knowledge, however, I would argue that Google doesn’t have all the answers.  The other answer to daily questions and problems is “God.” 

What should I do about my marriage? Ask God.

How can I be a good parent? God knows.

I am terrified of going to this job interview.  Turn to God. 

Should I buy a home? Ask God.

I can’t seem to find my keys.  Pray to God, then check the fridge.  Classic spot for keys, post grocery store trip. 

For the most part, I find that I am a do-it-myself kind of girl.  I won’t bother God with my issues until they have become so out of control that the world is threatening to spin off its axis.  Why not go to Him first?  Why not give Him my problems before they become unmanageable?  I know the right way to go about it, but everyday I need to be reminded that I can’t do it myself.  While dependent is typically seen as a negative word, I would like to strive to be more dependent on God.  Yes, I would like to be more dependent.