Friday, February 4, 2011

When Lisa Frank And “Family Matters” Were Hip

The lucky ones get old, because the alternative is dying young.  Except, in our culture, old is not revered, it is really frowned upon.  However, I am really not thinking about the merits of the elderly, rather today I was thinking about all the ways I am getting older.  Granted, I am not old yet (that’s reserved for those 55+, here’s looking to you AARP member), but I am not exactly young either.  I was mistaken for early thirties the other day, and ouch.  That hurts.

So, here are the nine ways (yes, nine is a random number) I am getting older, or maybe just less young:

1.    Gray Hairs: Dying my hair is no longer for fun.  It’s a necessity.

2.    Early to bed, early to rise:  Staying up late means past 11 p.m.  And getting up early means before 6:30 a.m.  It used to be staying up until 3 a.m. and getting up at noon. 

3.    Forgetting the little things that used to make you smile:  For example, stickers.  There was a time in my life when Lisa Frank was the final say in all things cool.  It took a group of high school girls putting a sticker on my face to remind me that stickers increase awesome.  

4.    Nick at Nite mocks me: I remember when Nick at Nite was reserved for shows like “I Love Lucy” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”  Now it plays “Family Matters,” “Home Improvement,” and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks! I watched those episodes when they first came on the air!

5.    Once your parents, now your…friends?: It’s weird that as I have gotten older how my parents have morphed from evil dictators, into somehow being my friends.  Granted, parents will always have their annoying tendencies, but subjects that were once taboo with parents, like sex, are now just a part of a funny, dirty joke, not a gut wrenching lecture on what makes boys and girls different. 

6.    Happy hour is now a nap: I miss happy hour, but not nearly as much as I miss naptime.   

7.    Holidays gain new meanings: NYE used to be a party and Halloween used to be an excuse to wear whatever I wanted.  Now, I can’t make it to midnight and if I see you out at Halloween wearing only nipple covers and thigh high stockings and try to pass it as a “nurses outfit” or “Snow White” I might think you’re a hussy. 

8.    You have deleted all your “fun” pictures from Facebook: I am not sure if me deleting certain photos from Facebook has more to do with me becoming more conservative in my old age, or more “real adults” getting Facebook accounts and becoming massively uncomfortable with the idea that my in-laws could see a play by play of what I did in college. 

9.    I don’t tweet or twitter or whatever you kids call it these days: I’ve given up with being ahead of the trends.

I don’t have a number 10.  How do you notice your getting older?  That way I can steal your ideas and call it my number 10 J

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